What could have been

If Danny Chung had let it grow...

Bramstache closing remarks

I have so many people to thank for this great honor. First of all, I wouldnt be here today without the love and support of Ilan Frankelstache, who bought me a couple of drinks and urged me to return the world of competitive hair growth. I may not have shaved "Ilan" into my mustache, but with his sportsmanship and candor, he has shaved his name into the mustache of my heart.

I also have to thank the women of Miami Ad School, for judging and giggling. It hasnt been easy being creepy for the last six weeks, but I'd be nothing without the people who I creep out every single day. Thank you ladies.

Clifferton, you handled yourself like a true gentleman. I tip my hat to you. I think your mustache is plenty big.

Stachemaster Ryan. Thank you for letting me see you with your shirt off. Finally.
And thanks for allowing me to repel women for the last 6 weeks, thus making my 8th quarter far more productive.

Special thanks to Toddberto Chavez for not sleeping with the judges panel until after the contest was over. For all we know, he played it fair.

Thanks to DC for teaching me how to groom. Thanks to Adam Weisman for straightening up in the rape room.

I would also like to thank Andy Bebo for deciding to grow half a mustache, thus making my mustache look fuller and more virile. Thank you Andy.

Special thanks to the American Cancer Society for being a fake charity for this event.

And Mariokart 64 for its constant source of inspiration.

While our competition may be over, and our faces bare, just remember that a mustache is more than just lip hair. It is a state of mind-- a sunny outlook-- a joie de vivre. So in the words of our fearless leader, Christopher Hendricks Ryan, "stay hairy."

~Danny Bramstache

T-24

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life thats full.
I've traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Caption Contest!!!!

wario

zigzags might work, with enough product.

Got Tom on my side.

And, apparently, fatigue.

An Earth Shattering Discovery!!!!!

The true Identity of Toddberto Shadow is ...



ZORO!!!

In the year 2020

At my current rate of growth I believe in 12 years my 'stache will look something like this:

(yes... still no growth in the middle.)

Just in time for Halloween... or to begin my plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

Through a democratic elected process of course. I'm trying to be a new kind of super villain.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

=Young Cliffertonizzle=