Bramstache closing remarks

I have so many people to thank for this great honor. First of all, I wouldnt be here today without the love and support of Ilan Frankelstache, who bought me a couple of drinks and urged me to return the world of competitive hair growth. I may not have shaved "Ilan" into my mustache, but with his sportsmanship and candor, he has shaved his name into the mustache of my heart.

I also have to thank the women of Miami Ad School, for judging and giggling. It hasnt been easy being creepy for the last six weeks, but I'd be nothing without the people who I creep out every single day. Thank you ladies.

Clifferton, you handled yourself like a true gentleman. I tip my hat to you. I think your mustache is plenty big.

Stachemaster Ryan. Thank you for letting me see you with your shirt off. Finally.
And thanks for allowing me to repel women for the last 6 weeks, thus making my 8th quarter far more productive.

Special thanks to Toddberto Chavez for not sleeping with the judges panel until after the contest was over. For all we know, he played it fair.

Thanks to DC for teaching me how to groom. Thanks to Adam Weisman for straightening up in the rape room.

I would also like to thank Andy Bebo for deciding to grow half a mustache, thus making my mustache look fuller and more virile. Thank you Andy.

Special thanks to the American Cancer Society for being a fake charity for this event.

And Mariokart 64 for its constant source of inspiration.

While our competition may be over, and our faces bare, just remember that a mustache is more than just lip hair. It is a state of mind-- a sunny outlook-- a joie de vivre. So in the words of our fearless leader, Christopher Hendricks Ryan, "stay hairy."

~Danny Bramstache

T-24

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life thats full.
I've traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Caption Contest!!!!

wario

zigzags might work, with enough product.

Got Tom on my side.

And, apparently, fatigue.

An Earth Shattering Discovery!!!!!

The true Identity of Toddberto Shadow is ...



ZORO!!!

In the year 2020

At my current rate of growth I believe in 12 years my 'stache will look something like this:

(yes... still no growth in the middle.)

Just in time for Halloween... or to begin my plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

Through a democratic elected process of course. I'm trying to be a new kind of super villain.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

=Young Cliffertonizzle=

Bring your A-game hombres!

I've got the length to take you all down. And to prove it, I present exhibit A. Plucked fresh from my stache this morning. Bring it!

I will miss you my little whisker compadre.





Stay Hairy!

Politically Incorrect

Much has been said about last week’s midterms. Beyond my appreciation to the winner, Mr. Chavez, I’d like to take a moment and salute Young Clifferton for his inspiring performance thus far. It’s one thing to sport a sexuality-dripping stache like some of us do, but it takes a true man to boldly and proudly maintain what Clifford has. – Good job.

In other news, the Summer Olympic Games (officially known as the Games of the XXIX Olympiad) is being held in Beijing, China. The world’s greatest athletes (excluding our own Chungstache – too bad Karaoke isn’t an Olympic sport) are all gathered in the land of fried rice and won-ton soup.
Above all, one shining star is rocking the water cube, a young swimmer from Baltimore, MD, that goes by the name of Michael Phelps.

An entire nation is avidly following this young boy’s race to break world records, shatter Olympic landmarks and above all – break Mark Spitz’s record and bring home 8 gold medals. As fellow stachers, we must reunite and support our beloved Spitz. His record-breaking performance in the 1972 games in Munich was perhaps the greatest sign of the mustache’s power. He was arguably the greatest swimmer of all times, and as we can proudly testify – he drew his strength from the stache.

I ask you today to support Spitz’ legacy by cheering for Phelps to win – but no more than 6 gold medals.

Arvidazen,
Frankelstache

Coming of age at 21 days

I would say life is good with a mustache but I really don't know if what's on my upper lip is yet considered to be a mustache. Maybe it's the stress, maybe its the lack of sunlight (as bramstache was hyping), maybe its just the genes. What counts is that I'm making an effort. At least my voice doesn't crack too often anymore.

Props go out to Senor Todd for taking top honors in mid-terms.

Anyways, here's where things stand going into week 4.










And here's the group shot. I decided to level the playing field a little (toddberto!)



Stay Hairy!

MUSTACHE PICK UP LINES (please add to list)

Who wants a mustache ride!

It took about three weeks to grow. This took about three seconds.

Guess where else I have a mustache.

WATCH OUT SHADOW. WATCH OUT.

Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing

you guys are going down.

Frankelstache

WHY CAN'T I TELL ANY OF YOUR APART!?

MOMENT OF MY DAY (Aside from working all day).

Man with his daughter met my eye as I emerged from my hovel to grab grub this afternoon.

He says some bullshet broken Japanebonics to me. Yes, he was black, whatever.

OK, I'm NOT FUCKING JAPANESE, no matter what mustache says.

Cliff, it was kinda amazing you should have been there. We could've totally pulled one over on him.

Also, nice whispies, very my grandpa circa 1994.

Prickly Pricks

I thought it was just a typical itch but when I went to scratch the space between my nose and the top of my lip, I felt several prickly pricks. That's when I began to really notice it - the forest of hairs that had sprouted on my upper lip.

Every-so-often my hand would somehow make its way to the site of this new found growth just to feel the sensation of little pricklies on the tips of my fingers. I admit it was pretty addictive. As time progressed my fingers started to do something else. They pick at it, trying to find a corner or an edge to peel the whole damn thing off as if it was only a sticker.

Now I'm brushing it down as well! I don't know how guys with facial hair can deal with it. How does anyone get anything done when the addictiveness of playing with all this hair is so tempting!?!?

I mean seriously... look at all this hair!

LOOK AT IT!!!

It looks like the freakin' plains of Saskatchewan! It's soooo long that I can even see it if I look down at my lip.

(Well I have to close one eye and push my upper lip as far up as I can.. BUT STILL!!)

We're only halfway through?? Shit.. maybe there's a support group for this addiction.

|- Young Clifferton -|

Wedding Chungstache.

YES LADIES AND GERMS. I WENT TO A WEDDING LIKE THIS TODAY.

That's all I'm gonna say.



PS: I look tired, must be nearing the middle of the quarter.

A good thing to keep in mind...

A stranger saw my mustache and assumed I was in a mustache competition for charity. I let her.

2 weeks deep

I just want to start off by saying, Damn, we're a sexy group!
I now pose a few questions to you loyal followers of the stache action.


Which plaid does toddberto look better in?



Do we go to school with an Asian Child Molester?



Do we go to school with an Asian Child?



Who's this guy and how did he get in here?



I look good! Oh, wait, that's not a question.



Hat or no hat?



Does this kid ever change his outfit?



Is it illegal to substitute in a video game character for yourself?

Stay Hairy!