Much has been said about last week’s midterms. Beyond my appreciation to the winner, Mr. Chavez, I’d like to take a moment and salute Young Clifferton for his inspiring performance thus far. It’s one thing to sport a sexuality-dripping stache like some of us do, but it takes a true man to boldly and proudly maintain what Clifford has. – Good job.
In other news, the Summer Olympic Games (officially known as the Games of the XXIX Olympiad) is being held in Beijing, China. The world’s greatest athletes (excluding our own Chungstache – too bad Karaoke isn’t an Olympic sport) are all gathered in the land of fried rice and won-ton soup.
Above all, one shining star is rocking the water cube, a young swimmer from Baltimore, MD, that goes by the name of Michael Phelps.
An entire nation is avidly following this young boy’s race to break world records, shatter Olympic landmarks and above all – break Mark Spitz’s record and bring home 8 gold medals. As fellow stachers, we must reunite and support our beloved Spitz. His record-breaking performance in the 1972 games in Munich was perhaps the greatest sign of the mustache’s power. He was arguably the greatest swimmer of all times, and as we can proudly testify – he drew his strength from the stache.
I ask you today to support Spitz’ legacy by cheering for Phelps to win – but no more than 6 gold medals.
Arvidazen,
Frankelstache
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